A Relationship called Friendship.

FRIEND for me is an acronym which means:

F – Fruits. Gifts from the Lord for the good done in this janam somewhere and somehow.
R – Rainbow. Colors of good and bad times spend together holding each other tight.
I – Ignition. Simple gestures from them can kickstart your day.
E – Endless. A journey that transcends life itself.
N – Nurture. Nature demands nurturing of friends.
D – Defense. They are our in-built defense mechanism.

We tend to use the term friend very loosely as it is the demand of our times. We land up calling too many people our friend. But if you care to notice then you would have divided your friends. There is a section of people whom you would always party with, share your good times with. They are our “good time friends”. Then there are people to whom we would go to whenever we are in a jam, for advice, for help, for simple plain scolding and often large doses of love and appreciation. These are the people whom I would actually term as a friend and these people are a very tight nucleus around you.

Is friendship then a relationship? I would say yes. It is a relationship by choice and thus is cherished more by the participating people. It is a mutual exploration of the important aspects of life. The relationship starts with a tentative exploration of likes and dislikes. No, let me revise that. The starting point is an attraction and a feeling – let me reach out and get to know a person. In short, the positive vibes between two people draw them to make the first tentative exploration which can convert itself into a life long journey.

Like any other relationship, we nurture it with love, care and pride. Some people are house proud, some are job proud and some are simply proud. I am friend proud. My friends are my “guroor”. The bond is as strong as my “guroor”.

Like any other relationship, it needs space. Every person needs space, freedom of expression and choice. You can’t be somebody’s friend by piling on and expressing your feelings.

Like any other relationship, it demands understanding. First understand the person before you expect the person to understand you.

Like any other relationship, it grows and matures. The boundaries of a friendship is constantly getting re-defined and re-fined to match your partner’s changes. Sometimes I like to compare this phenomenon with an amoeba or water. They are also constantly modifying their shape without loosing their own identity.

Like a relationship, it is governed by rules of faithfulness, integrity and inner strength. They are our in-built defense mechanism from the vagaries of this world but care should be taken as to not to take them for granted. Friendship is a blessing that does not come with “this process cannot be reversed” tag.

Like a relationship, it definitely includes large doses of love. Friendship is perhaps one of the purest expressions of love for another person. It is to a large extent based on 90% giving and 10% expectations. It is important that you know how to receive as well as give. Just giving is not good and demeans the other person in some way.

Like any other relationship, it demands quality time and attention. The quality is at its best if you can take up with a friend even after years of separation.

It is very difficult to take this thought down in one gulp that friendship is actually a relationship. Most of us have a very narrow view of relationship – it can exist only between a man and a woman. This is also supplemented by the thought - “Ladka-Ladki kabhi dost nahi ban sakte (Girls and boys can never be just friends)”. Like all concepts, these concepts are also beginning to change and for the good. There is a definite shift in the mentality of today’s generation and its high time that society at large accepts this. The transition process would be slow but the onus is upon us to accept the friendship relationship first. In these times of nuclear families friends attain the distinction of a close relative and we need to recognize the fact… and say Cheers!!!