Everyone has their own way of dealing with loss. Losses come in various forms - from loss of a loved one who bid adieu to the world, loss of job, loss of position in society, loss of money. The loss that you incur is directly propotional to the value attached to the loss. Some are recoverable losses and others simply are not. Those that are un-recoverable are ususally priceless and the impact is huge.
In the past few years I have faced quite a few losses in my professional and personal life and have had to deal with it. Being a part of a very closely knit Indian family meant that any losses that I faced impacted not only me but also my family members. Perhaps the sheer scope of the impact has taught me how to deal with a loss a little better because I not only had to overcome the impact on myself but also hold my families' hand and support them on the road to their recovery. The vice versa is also true. My family has held my hand firmly when the impact has been more on me than them.
So a loss in its own way teaches a lot of things and makes the affected individual much wiser than before. One of the major lessons that it teaches to the Indian society is the value of the family. India is slowly but surely chucking out its core strength out of the window in pursuit of global excellence and recognition. Losses and dealing with them solidifies the foundation on which the family operates as a single unit and perhaps these are situatins where one is exteremely glad that we do have a few people in the world who will cushion us and break our fall...the importance of the family as a unit is reinforced. Having and maintaining good realtions with the family unit makes dealing with a loss a lot easier than what it would have been without a family. So when in a situation of loss talking to a family member heals and allows one to overcome.
Another group of people who can help one deal with the loss are called friends. Since they are peers they offer a shoulder to cry on to and lend their ears to you. And often would also guide you on how to deal with the loss. Their methodology or advice can either contradict or complement the advice received from elders in the family.
So ultimately the onus lies with you as to which advice is feasible and workable. That is something that you need to decide on your own... you are alone in the kind of decision that you make. The elders base their advice on their experiences in life. Your friends base their advice on a mixture of limited experince, sense of justice, aggression, 'we got to set it right' kind of attitude - lack of acceptance can be harful to dealing with loss. It can either worsen the loss or help you heal. So after the initial impact has worn off it is best to keep a calm and open mind to decide on the course of action. Any decision that you make at this point of time will last you a lifetime and therefore wisdom has to be exercised. Sometimes a cocktail of both kind of advices work the best.
Another organisation that is expected to show empathy to you during your time of loss is the organisation that you work for. Here empathy is shown when the loss is of personal kind. They probably are the perpetuators of any professional loss that you face and hence there would be no empathy on that front. Through personal experience I can vouch for the fact that an employee-friendly organisation makes dealing with personal loss a whole lot easier.
A high emotional intelligence quotient comes in very handy in dealing with any kind of loss - personal or professional. When you loose a dear one through natural causes then dealing with it is a lot easier than when you loose one due to un-natural causes. Overcoming both these kinds of losses needs perseverance, strong will, conviction, fighting spirit and hope. Overcoming other kinds of personal losses apart from loosing a dear one needs the ability to let bygones be bygones, forget and perhaps forgive and the ability to learn a few lessons from life and have the courage to move ahead. Motivation to overcome loss is very important to actually overcome it. Self motivation is the best kind of motivation that one has.
Professional losses have a wider impact in the sense that they impact your personal life too and there are fewer people who can empathise with you. Doing an analysis of a professional loss with a calm mind and perhaps in hindsight teaches quite a few invaluable lessons. Analyse the situation objectively, what was wrong, what was right, what can be changed as they are in your circle of influence, be open and work towards changing these things which will include changing youself... and never repeat the same mistake - these are roughly the steps that are to be followed in case of a professional loss. These steps are not as easy to implement as it had been easy to write them down. They can only be implemented over a period of time with varying degrees of success. The key is not to get dis-heartened and try again in case you fail the first time.
If I were to put all the above in just one word then the only thing that helps you overcome and deal with any kind of loss is just one thing - your own ATTITUDE.
In the past few years I have faced quite a few losses in my professional and personal life and have had to deal with it. Being a part of a very closely knit Indian family meant that any losses that I faced impacted not only me but also my family members. Perhaps the sheer scope of the impact has taught me how to deal with a loss a little better because I not only had to overcome the impact on myself but also hold my families' hand and support them on the road to their recovery. The vice versa is also true. My family has held my hand firmly when the impact has been more on me than them.
So a loss in its own way teaches a lot of things and makes the affected individual much wiser than before. One of the major lessons that it teaches to the Indian society is the value of the family. India is slowly but surely chucking out its core strength out of the window in pursuit of global excellence and recognition. Losses and dealing with them solidifies the foundation on which the family operates as a single unit and perhaps these are situatins where one is exteremely glad that we do have a few people in the world who will cushion us and break our fall...the importance of the family as a unit is reinforced. Having and maintaining good realtions with the family unit makes dealing with a loss a lot easier than what it would have been without a family. So when in a situation of loss talking to a family member heals and allows one to overcome.
Another group of people who can help one deal with the loss are called friends. Since they are peers they offer a shoulder to cry on to and lend their ears to you. And often would also guide you on how to deal with the loss. Their methodology or advice can either contradict or complement the advice received from elders in the family.
So ultimately the onus lies with you as to which advice is feasible and workable. That is something that you need to decide on your own... you are alone in the kind of decision that you make. The elders base their advice on their experiences in life. Your friends base their advice on a mixture of limited experince, sense of justice, aggression, 'we got to set it right' kind of attitude - lack of acceptance can be harful to dealing with loss. It can either worsen the loss or help you heal. So after the initial impact has worn off it is best to keep a calm and open mind to decide on the course of action. Any decision that you make at this point of time will last you a lifetime and therefore wisdom has to be exercised. Sometimes a cocktail of both kind of advices work the best.
Another organisation that is expected to show empathy to you during your time of loss is the organisation that you work for. Here empathy is shown when the loss is of personal kind. They probably are the perpetuators of any professional loss that you face and hence there would be no empathy on that front. Through personal experience I can vouch for the fact that an employee-friendly organisation makes dealing with personal loss a whole lot easier.
A high emotional intelligence quotient comes in very handy in dealing with any kind of loss - personal or professional. When you loose a dear one through natural causes then dealing with it is a lot easier than when you loose one due to un-natural causes. Overcoming both these kinds of losses needs perseverance, strong will, conviction, fighting spirit and hope. Overcoming other kinds of personal losses apart from loosing a dear one needs the ability to let bygones be bygones, forget and perhaps forgive and the ability to learn a few lessons from life and have the courage to move ahead. Motivation to overcome loss is very important to actually overcome it. Self motivation is the best kind of motivation that one has.
Professional losses have a wider impact in the sense that they impact your personal life too and there are fewer people who can empathise with you. Doing an analysis of a professional loss with a calm mind and perhaps in hindsight teaches quite a few invaluable lessons. Analyse the situation objectively, what was wrong, what was right, what can be changed as they are in your circle of influence, be open and work towards changing these things which will include changing youself... and never repeat the same mistake - these are roughly the steps that are to be followed in case of a professional loss. These steps are not as easy to implement as it had been easy to write them down. They can only be implemented over a period of time with varying degrees of success. The key is not to get dis-heartened and try again in case you fail the first time.
If I were to put all the above in just one word then the only thing that helps you overcome and deal with any kind of loss is just one thing - your own ATTITUDE.
