Musings on my journey to alleviate self

The subject of this blog is very very wide and I had been struggling for the past couple of days to choose an appropriate topic to start writing about. Then it struck me that the most valuable thing that I can share on this blog is my personal experiences in improving myself. This might motivate someone who is reading this blog to do something about himself/ herself.

One of the biggest pre-requisites for lending out a helping hand to yourself is know yourself. Be honest with yourself about yourself to the point of brutality. Some people think that I have been drastic in doing that but I knew I required something as drastic to improve myself.

I started improving myself by first jotting down my thoughts (to be read as drawbacks) on small pieces of paper which were promptly destroyed. I did as a symbolic gesture which probably indicated that I want to get rid of my bad habits just like that paper.

Since I knew that I had a gigantic task in front of me I had to do it bit by bit. I did not want to get defeated by my own self by taking on too much simultaneously. I then became an observer and listener in order to pick up the changes that I had to make to my behavior. It acheived quite a few things. I became a good observer. I also became a good listener. And by observing and listening enough my sense of judegement took a better and new dimension. The first signs of success in learning by osmosis became evident when I slowly started implementing them in my day-to-day behavior and watched the immediate change in people's response to me. That kept me motivated.

Through the entire journey of alleviating myself there were certain things that became evident and these might be mandatory for all those people who want to learn and grow:

1) Know Yourself
2) Accept and Admit the 'bad' characteristics that you want to change
3) Become an avid reader, listener and observer
4) Have the burning desire to change yourself
5) Have a close friend who can be your constant companion and morale booster through your journey.
6) Last but certainly not the least... have the desire to invest time and effort on your own self.

Once you have these things in place and have the right amount of motivation then the journey become more pleasant and a little less tough.

7) Believe and trust yourself..... You can do it and you will do it.

Have a pleasant journey and a successful life.

Formula for Success...From Inside Out

Since the first word that appears on the description bar is 'Success', I thought it would be a good idea to talk about 'Success' in the first article. How does one define success? Success means to achievement or accomplishment of something. If I go by the meaning of the word, then it does not help me to alleviate myself.

I have been a late starter in life. I have done everything late...I started walking at the age of 1.2 years and started talking at almost 2 years of age. It is therefore not surprising that 'success' in life came late to me. I have always dreamt of a good career in my choosen field and I have struggled for 11 years to accomplish that. Did I term it as success when I got a good job? - Yes. Was I HAPPY/SATISFIED with my achievement? - No.

There is no yardstick for success - to say that achieving such and such thing would bring success to me and make me happy. If one achieves the first milestone, then he/she would have another milestone to attain; does the person find happiness ever, is he/she ever satisfied???

Through the months I have learnt that success cannot be quantified. Sucess is the way you look at things, in other words....success is defined by your attitude. Till very recently my formula for success looked something like this:

Having + Doing + Being = Success ... from Outside In

That is what most of the people do. One of my acquiantances said that he would work very hard till the age of 35-40, earn enough money to keep him and his family in luxury and then quit his job by 40 and finally get a life for himself. He has done everything to achieve this but somewhere there still lurks a feeling of dis-satisfaction and lack of meaning.

Many people have their priorities upside down. They can't get past the 'Having' stage and go to the 'Being' stage because they feel that they do not have enough yet. They think that what defines their success is how much money they have, the property they own, the things they possess. We would be happier if we could modify our attitude and modify the formula for success as:

Being + Doing + Having = Success...from Inside Out

Being: Be YOURSELF by knowing who you really are, knowing what's important to you. You should know what you do best and what makes you unique as a person. This introspection and clarity helps achieve the next step.

Doing: Do those things you do best and want to do. Utilize the gifts and talents you have in a way to help others. Touch the lives of the people in meaningful ways. This helps you acieve the next stage.

Having: Having a life is more important than having a lifestyle. A life oriented around doing whatever is important to you. A life spent with loved ones. A life with financial rewards for doing loved things.

Most of us are either doing things Outside In or are only halfway to doing things Inside Out. If you are following the Outside In formula then you would need a major shift in priorities to FEEL success. If you are half way through to following Inside Out then just a minor adjustment in priorities is all that is necessary.

So, success is what you perceive to be and not what other's perceive it to be because nobody can know you better than you.

PS: Most of this article has been picked up from the book "52 Ways of Living Success". Thanks to the author for changing my viewpoint which has helped me to help to help influence the reader's viewpoint too.